You know that guy, who works fifteen hours a day, with no concept of a work-life balance, always chasing the money, the fancy cars, and the fast life? Ten years ago, I was that guy. And I was MISERABLE. I was working myself to death, seventy pounds overweight, and out of touch with my family. I found myself using alcohol more and more as a way to cope with the stress of it all. Sound familiar? Eventually, the drinking and the mental stress escalated to a point where I hit that proverbial rock bottom and decided to seek help. Perhaps for you it does not need to get to this point. For me, looking back, this was a blessing and the kick-start I needed.
Now it is my purpose-driven mission to support and coach others who may find themselves stuck in a similar situation. In my own personal journey and while coaching others, I found that I was not alone, and what I learned could be beneficial to others as well. That is why I have been putting together a course to help others assess and address the suck that is keeping them stuck, in order to move towards a values-based life that heightens tolerance to daily stressors. I believe that many of us are living in a state of chronic stress, sometimes without realizing it, and this is what I’m trying to address in this course.
Stress is a necessary part of everyday life. It helps prepare our bodies for any threats to our survival. In the complex world we live in, those threats can be multi-layered and complex. We are no longer chased by saber-toothed tigers. Instead, we are chased by mortgage payments, college funds for the kids, and demanding bosses. This triggers our fight-or-flight response, our survival instincts.
Stress itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It can direct our attention to something that needs to be taken care of. It can bring to mind an area for growth. It can point us to somewhere outside of our comfort zone which ultimately benefits us in our individual journey. Enough stress to expand and grow our capabilities can be good. But if it gets to be too much, it can rob us of any energy to really enjoy life. It’s all a matter of moderation. As the Swiss alchemist and physician Paracelsus once said, “The right dose differentiates a poison from a remedy.”
When stressors are always present, your fight-or-flight response never switches off. After a while, it becomes your new normal. This is the stage where you are facing chronic stress. If not kept in check, chronic stress can manifest in the form of burnout, depression, or anxiety, affecting weight, the musculoskeletal system, the reproductive system, and more.
My project and vision
In my own personal journey of recovery from chronic stress, I started developing a toolkit for myself to assess and address what kept me stuck. And part of this unfolding path revealed to me that I was far from being alone in my situation. I met people from all walks of life who were all asking the same questions: How can I develop coping skills to deal with life’s stressors? How can I create my own definition of a life well-lived? How can I foster a sense of connection with myself and others?
What emerged for me was a 4-stage process which I have come to call the Step Back Process. This process is laid out in my book, Numb? (2021). It is made up of four questions that I continuously go back to in order to bring more mindfulness to my day-to-day choices and grow towards the life I want to live. Those questions are:
- Where are you now?
- Where do you want to go?
- How will you get there?
- How will you keep on track?
Diving into these four deceptively simple questions allowed me to unearth a host of resources, tools, and insights. I shared them in one-on-one and group coaching sessions, and I was able to see the value this material could have on others as well. Little by little, I began to see that I had a powerful tool to help guide others towards a more stress-resilient, values-led life. And a course started to emerge.
The course covers an extended range of subjects which have made a huge difference for me and others: the power of mindset, creating and breaking habits, discovering your values, expressing your boundaries in a healthy, non-violent way, breaking down projects into actionable baby steps, the importance of self-compassion, how to practice gratitude daily, etc. The course includes guided meditations, prompts, graphics, and worksheets that can help you gain clarity on the inner workings of your mind as well as the complex world around you.
How you can help!
This course is almost ready to launch, and I am really excited about it! But before it launches, I would love to hear from you! Do you ever experience the ill-effects of chronic stress? Do you ever feel disconnected from yourself or your loved ones? Do you ever find yourself losing time and/or money because of unnecessary drama in your life or business? Do you ever rely on compulsive behavior to numb yourself out?
If so, I want to hear from you! What would you like to see in a course about assessing and addressing chronic stress? What is the most challenging aspect of self-improvement for you? What tools have helped you deal with chronic stress? If you had a nugget of wisdom to share with someone suffering from chronic stress, what would it be?
I want to make sure this course addresses the issues people are having, so this is your chance to tell me what those issues are for you! Please contact me with your thoughts, ideas or just to talk about this.
Feeling lost? Numb? Conflicted? It’s time to create your future through S.E.L.F. Leadership. Dave’s mission is to help individuals and organizations re-discover their innate wisdom within, define what success truly is, address and assess what may be blocking the path, and GROW FORWARD!
Whether you are looking to get more out of life, more out of your business, or want to get past some challenges that are keeping you stuck I invite you to reach out today for a complimentary and confidential discovery call. You are not alone…
Dave Sinclair-S.E.L.F. Leadership Coach | Helping Men Assess & Address the Suck keeping them Stuck and Activate their Self Energizing Life Force!